would you do me? I’d do me…
this is what happens when my friends don’t let me down the stairs…
so i found out that when my 23 year old brother was 2 he used to go up to other toddlers, hug them and push them to the ground so he could lie (or even “flatten”) them.
apparently he did it even more to oriental children than any other demographic.
thats right.
my brother used to flatten oriental children when he was 2.
so I was sat there admiring my newly made flashcards… when a moth flew out of my nose.
I don’t know what else to say, I’m still pretty shocked.
me: *in a German accent* ve haf found ze continuum transfunctioner.
dad: *in Arnold Schwarzeneggers voice* come with me if you want to live.
me: *with an old, wise voice* my good soldiers, I'm afraid the enemy have now expanded over our land, it is time for us to pack up and flee to the great wilderness of our brothers and sisters land.
dad: *with a young boys voice* WHAT'S THAT SCAMP? THE CHILDREN ARE STUCK IN THE MINESHAFT? AND LITTLE JOHNNY HAS BROKEN HIS LEG?!
found a good joke.
23 million people tuned in to watch England’s exit from the Euro’s.
It broke the record for the largest audience for a TV repeat.
I’m sorry but I really do send the best texts to my friends:
Here is my latest one:
I have noticed how you have not replied my several recent texts and I officially feel unloved. Here is a list of things you can do to make me feel loved again:
a) rub your thumb down my forehead and whisper ‘Simbaa’ in my ear.
b) stand outside my window blasting Don’t You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds from your boombox.
Or c) make a video montage of you carrying various heavy objects up large hills to spell out ‘I luv u’.
the reply:
“I miss you”
Brilliant.
